by Jay Whitehead

As we prepare for big developments for HR outsourcing in the new year, we must remain eternally vigilant for ‘unfriendlies.’

We humans have eyes in the front of our heads for one reason: We find our future by looking forward. We find everything we need by seeing ahead: food, shelter, money, a mate. We have no eyes behind. So go ahead. Peer into the future. What does 2003 hold for you and your outsourced future?

Will 2003 find you unlucky? Will you see your company turn toxic, complete with the nasty stench of Enron and Worldcom? Will Tyco's swindling CEO Dennis Kozlowski escape prosecution and become your firm's Chief Executive? Will Chechen rebels swipe your credit card and rack up a big online ammo bill at Soldier-Of-Fortune.com? Will you suddenly find that you shared stockbrokers with Martha Stewart?

Will 2003 see you doing good deeds? Will you broker peace in the Middle East? Will you help a labor union understand that it could be the largest HRO organization on earth? Will you help your favorite HRO industry conference find an affordable-yet-yummy lunchtime alternative to rubber chicken with beige sauce and a tomato wedge?

Or will the New Year see you eternally vigilant for HR Outsourcing Un-Friendlies? Here are my four candidates for HRO Ghouls Most Likely To Slime You In 2003. Read them, heed them, and prepare to defend yourself.

1) The Soviet Scammer. Where there is big money, there is big greed. Given the gigantic growth in HRO, there is bound to be a scammer or two who will overpromise, get paid, and never deliver. When assessing an HRO provider whose address is a PO box, or an HRO customer who, as part of the deal, wants you to buy his ancient enterprise HRIT system for the same price you would pay for all the real estate in Cleveland, remember President Ronald Reagan's words of wisdom about dealing with the former Soviet Union: "Trust, but verify."

2) The Leak at the Seam. Nearly every large-scale outsourcing pact involves multiple providers in partnership. Where one provider stops and the other starts, there is a seam, a little crack through which something could slip. Make sure that what slips through is not your money, your data, or your career. Double-reinforce the seams. Make sure that someone is accountable for every step in the relationship. Know where accountability lies at every turn. Use the railroad man's rule: watch the switches, because they are where 99% of derailings happen.

3) The Tornado-Insurance Salesman. Is it just me, or have some been selling outsourcing with the same pitch that's on that negative, nasty brochure for twister insurance? You know, "buy this policy today because I saw a funnel cloud last night, and your neighborhood could be next." That's no way to build an industry whose value proposition has more upside than a mutual fund run by Warren Buffett. Smart people buy outsourcing for the value it adds, not the train wreck it helps you run into someone else. Why is that? Because when you dump your garbage on an HRO provider, she will sue you. And she will win big damages.

4) The Passive-Aggressive Panhandler. This CYA point is of particular interest to HRO providers. As HR IT consultant to the stars Naomi Lee Bloom argues elsewhere in this issue of HRO Today, in the middle ranks of the HR village today there is a pile of bile waiting to be spewed on many an unsuspecting ham-handed HRO provider. HRO providers, myself included, have from time to time been somewhat disrespectful of members of the HR community who were skeptical about the HRO value proposition. Reaction to this disrespect has built up a reservoir of ugly feelings toward certain HRO providers. Every once in a while, this emotion comes out. More often than not, this negative energy comes out as passive-aggressive HRO deal-derailing. Here's CYA's advice: every day is Respect An HR Professional Day. If you need someone to disrespect, go to the Internet and do it anonymously in a chat room. But if you follow that advice, do it from your home computer. No doubt, your employer has some software that will make you regret doing it from work.

So now that you have read this column, you can feel safe to look ahead to 2003. Outsource with vigor. Consider CYA your very own set of eyes in the back of your head.